Sunday, March 21, 2010

But He emptied himself, taking the form of a bond servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Phillipians 2:7

John MaCArthur says "Jesus did not give up his deity but set aside certain prerogatives. For one thing He gave up His heavenly glory..."

Ouch! How many times do I do righteous acts to receive glory or praise from man/woman and even try to work to impress God instead of just obeying and doing out pure humility and love and pure awe of a Holy God we serve. Do I so openly empty myself for our Lord to glorify Him and only to glorify ? Have I emptied myself in comparison to Christ is what I ask myself? No.

Oh but what a Savior we have that did so for us while we were ones who rejected Him.

Oh, Lord I pray help me become more appreciative of the sacrificial humility you did on my behalf... Forgive my shortsightedness and my self absorption, my pride and help me to not boast of anything but remain on my knees and my eyes upon you to Praise You for all You so mercifully bestow and so steadfastly endure to love this sinner and so grateful I am to begin to see a small portion of Your Glory. So thankful that You, Lord supply a man to preach Your Truth like John MaCArthur and Your word to convict my heart....

Sunday, March 14, 2010

John MaCArthur says that the absence of boasting tells volumes about their character. Then He used the verse from 1Samuel 2:3 " Boast no more so very proudly, do not let arrogance come out of your mouth; For the Lord is a God of knowledge; and with Him actions are weighed."

I pondered this and thought how convicting this was to me personally on not to boast nor be arrogant in anything I can do. Nor even boast about the gifts the Lord gave me. I know not to be prideful for whatever the Lord gives, he can take away. I recently did have to let go of something I had great pride in. I didn't realize that the lesson would include this too. Even in gifts that God mercifully give us we can be prideful, like our family, our church, our friends, and then things too like gifts, homes, finances, anything. This lesson has brought to be content in God and God alone. I have had so many lessons the past months that God is enough. God is enough if you don't have a husband, ( which I have been blessed to have a husband, but seeing dear friends become a widow or go through divorce, or just be temporarily in a different town away from a spouses been witness to me.) God is enough if you don't have a child, (which I do watching others lose theirs to illness, miscarriages, spiritual lostness, loss of everyday custody through divorce, sharing custody with even a step-parent, or even infertility, but yet I have been blessed with healthy children and not suffered a loss of this sort either) loss of a church family and friends is another form of loss( I did have to say goodbye to a church family b/c God had other plans for us to move to another, that has been one hard trial.) God scatters His people for His glory to spread and shared and to say goodbye is hard and change is hard. To not have a church or Pastor for a time frame is hard but God is enough, He does lead you through the dessert and the wilderness to where He wants you. I took pride in my church, my friends and never thought this sort of change or sacrifice would be asked, yet He did. He is showing me to have my roots in Him for even though there are many blessings there is suffering but is the sufferings that grow us in Him the most, and it is the sufferings that refine and produce the righteous fruit. It is the pruning the vine dresser does that produces righteous fruit.
I am learning to not to boast, to be content, to be thankful for each moment in God's presence and cherish each day each gift and trial He allows me to have. I am learning to love on and minister to who the Lord has me cross paths with for that day for we know not what tomorrow holds and we have nothing to boast of except that God is Holy God and He is the King, the Judge, the gift giver, the Creator, the only thing we should be desperate for. He should be our portion and we are thankful for the boundary lines He placed for our inheritance is great but it is nothing we deserve but an inheritance of Gracious and Loving Father.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

My mother always told me I should be a teacher....


When my mom told me that as I was trying to figure out what to major in when I went to college I scoffed at her. I said "Mom you are a teacher and grandma is a teacher... I don't have to be a teacher like you guys." " How boring"..... My dad said " Teaching is a great job for mom's you have the same holidays and hours as your kids." hmmmm......

God called me to home school at the age of 33... He probably called me sooner but I was not listening... Homeschooling is not what my mom or dad had in mind when they were encouraging me at 18 either. But God's ways are higher and that is why His word says don't lean on your own understanding. I didn't listen to them but at 33 and after many trials I did listen to God. Funny How it was God plan all along. How He was planting seeds along in my heart so in His perfect timing I would be willing and ready to do His Will... As it says in His word, "..man makes his plans but God directs the steps."

Over the years after changing my major several times I had regrets. I wished I had done what my parents suggested and just gotten my education degree. But oh, no my plans were better yet I ended up with 170 credit hours and no degree. The joke was on me. LOL. But even though I have not yet completed my education God is the God of impossible things. He does not call the qualified, He qualifies us and equips us to do His Will... My is that not a huge lesson. My parents always told me not to feel guilty that yes I should have finished but that education was not a waste and I could still use it and apply it. They still would have never guessed what God had planned neither would I. You see I got married and a baby came very fast after before I could finish that degree. But God gave me that man and baby, yet again God loving while I was still a rebellious sinner. What an amazing God we have. His Love is so long suffering and steadfast!! How much He endures on my behalf. So thankful for His mercy and forgiveness this sinner is!!!!

When He called us to home school I still was like well I will take it a year at time. I thought I really could not do the best job. You see I know my heart I know my weaknesses but I had a small view of God and How He does mighty things with our weaknesses b/c He is potter. He knows the plans He has for me and my children. I don't know His plans I am not the Creator and that was my first awakening. Yet again my weak flesh thinking I knew the plan for these children the Lord had given me. I humbled myself and repented and asked if this was His Will to help me to die to myself and stay close to Him.

I have never been so grown, stretched, humbled, blessed, desperate, and fulfilled nor more dependent on the Lord than now at during this time. First of all it has brought our family to a new intimate level with one another. It has grown me spiritually as a wife, mom, and woman and understanding biblical womanhood. I was always very involved when my first born was in school and when my second son was in pre-K, but I was not truly knowing my sons. I was there but not present, I had a relationship with them but didn't know them nor allow them to know me until we started on this journey. I am so thankful at what God has done with my oldest and I and the restoration and growth in our relationship as mother and son. I look forward to his teenage years. I am blessed that God has us do this so both my sons can grow in Him. As my sons learn not only about God but also have a biblical view instead of a worldview. I am blessed as it says that I can encourage them both to guard their hearts..." for it is the wellspring of life". That they can focus on God and school and not be desensitised to the High calling God has for them. " For Fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction" Proverbs 1:7

The joy of being able to teach my youngest son to read is a joy I can't describe. The Joy of knowing my sons are not ADD and not being labeled. The Joy of learning each sons' learning styles and how they best learn and seeing them excel in hard things. Seeing them excel in subjects that are not their strongest yet finding ways for them to put things in long term memory instead for just testing and being prepared for college at such young ages thrills my heart. The Joy of knowing that God will lead them and guide despite my feeble attempts." For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding; he stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of his saints." Proverbs 2;6-8
The peace that my children have when they talk about God and His word when it applies to something in history, science, art, language, and math is incomparable to anything I could ever hope or dream for them. Ephesians 3:19-20.

For my few readers who may wondering why I am writing this? I had to journal before I forget what God has used to bless me. I had to write so on day when I am discouraged I can come back and be reminded. I had to Praise God for all He has done and will do. The other day as my oldest helped my youngest one day with math I was reminded with the warm fuzzy in my heart that I may have never got to see that happen and another moment seeing my youngest teach one of my babysitting kids from a book how to sign language... I just cried. So thankful to have the relationships I have with my husband and boys. So thankful He has brought such closeness to our family. So thankful He has taught me to be biblical in my role as wife and mother. So thankful for all the families He has brought to our lives through homeschooling. So thankful for all the hard lessons and trials. So thankful to be in His Will and see fruit in my sons.

I thought OH, thank you Lord for finding me worthy to have sons, to call me to home school them and to teach them along side the greatest Teacher of all You, O Lord, Our Holy God. Thank you for forgiving me and changing me. Thank You for having plans for me. Thank you for giving parents who prayed even though they did not know Your plans for me, Thank you Lord for giving me grandparents who prayed even though they didn't know Your plans for me, Thank you for great-grandparents I never met but had strong Faith to pray for me. May I continue to pray for the future generations to grow them In Your Word and Truth , so they may be wise as it says in Proverbs 1 and 2 to hear and increase in learning, and understand and obtain guidance treasure only your commandments and seek Your Wisdom and love You and Your word and hide it in hearts. May Your Word plant deep roots in my children's hearts, my grandchildren, and future generations of our family to leave a legacy a of family who loves and worships You. Thank You for planning my journey and helping me have a bigger picture and not be held captive to fear or guilt but equipping me and using me to Your glory as a wife and mother. Thank You for Your Mercy and sending Your Son to save me.